Have you, too, read the stories of the past forty days and felt the pain and anger of so many of these journeys in faith and sexuality as if they were precisely your own? Have you superimposed others’ stories on your own life, feeling your own pain all the more acutely as it joins with that of others?
That has been my walk this Lent, particularly through the guidance of our sisters and brothers who have been bold enough to share pieces of their stories of brokenness and healing. With each one, I’ve been broken, too.
And then we come to Holy Week – the week in which we re-live our collective brokenness as we journey from Palm Sunday to today, Maundy Thursday. And we see the example of a God who acts in perfect empathy beyond anything any of us could muster, who kneels at the disciples’ dirty and smelly feet and washes them, summoning us to do the same.
It could all be so overwhelming. It is. Trying to walk in Jesus’ footsteps means having some version of a Calvary experience. For me, that re-living is so difficult that I feel depressed every Holy Week around now. Many of you do, too.
But then I remember that God achieved the most complex things in very simple actions. And salvation is God’s work, not mine. So I set my sights on the simple things before me. God doesn’t call me to a cross. Rather, God calls me to kneel at your feet.
Then, knowing that we’ll find our way to the cross, anyway, God nourishes us with a meal for the journey, giving us Christ to sustain us in an act of God’s perfect, empathic love.
May we but share in that love, for by this, we will know that we are Christ’s disciples.
-The Rev. Kaji Rosa Spellman